Negative thoughts can distract from what is essential, drain one’s energy and cause a low mood. They take the joy out of life and can affect our physical health.

That’s why it’s so important that we learn how to deal with them effectively when they surface and overwhelm.

Recognise the mind traps 

Our minds have a clever and persistent way of convincing us of something untrue. These mind traps reinforce negative thinking. However, you can learn to challenge and change them if you recognise them. 

Examples of mind traps:

Black and white thinking – rigid and polarised thinking with nothing in between 

“This decision can either be good or bad.”
“I make this relationship work now, or it will never work again.”
Catastrophising – thinking about something way worse than the reality 
“If I fail this test, I will be a total failure in life.”
“If I do not get this promotion, my career will never progress again.”
“should” statements – putting unreasonable demands and pressure on oneself 
“I should always get things right.”
“I should always look good.”

Discounting the positive – never give credit for the good things

“He was just being nice when he complimented me.”
“The customer only likes our work because they don’t know us as people.”

Challenge the negative thoughts

Stop and evaluate your thoughts.

Try to reflect on the accuracy of the thoughts.

Think about how you would respond to a friend who has the same thought 

If you assume the worst will happen, try to look for evidence for the event but not your opinions/emotions.

Learn to reframe your thoughts

You may explore a replacement of your current thoughts to make you feel better.

For example, if you have health problems, you might tell yourself, “my life will never be the way it used to be”, or “this is the end of my life.”

Instead of focusing on the negative aspects, we can reframe the thought as “this is a setback for me, but I can recover from it if I am patient with myself” or “this is going to be challenging for a while, but I can learn to adapt and still enjoy my life.”

Take a break from the negative thoughts

It is OK to allow yourself a certain amount of time (maybe 5 minutes) with the thought; however, try to take a break from focusing on it and move on to other tasks of the day.

Do something nice for yourself

Perhaps you can indulge yourself with your favourite food and activities, or do something that makes you laugh.

Practice gratitude

There are many things for each of us to be thankful for. So what is the one thing that you appreciate today?

Share your feelings with someone close to you

Everyone has negative thoughts from time to time. However, talking about it with someone else helps you keep those thoughts in perspective.

While the above can be the initial steps in managing negative thoughts, it is important to know that they can sometimes be challenging to navigate. For further support, call Benestar to make an appointment with a clinician. During your session with one of our clinicians, we will explore your situation together and provide recommendations and follow-up. 

Written by Jess Yap, Benestar Psychologist.